When you hit that stage in life that you realize how old you have become and haven’t accomplish anything you planned too by this time. Even though 20 years old isn’t that old “20 is the best time of your life! You just starting living your life” yeah yeah right but anyway for me it is … It scares me how form 16 years old time just fast forward to 20 , like I don’t even remember what I’ve been doing for those 4 years. Like I guess its good I’m at university but to be honest I’m there because that’s what everyone is doing after college right ? well what they plan to do after , so basically its expected from me to think the same and go…so I did. But when I think about it I’m there because I completely do not have any idea what I’m doing or want to do with my life….it was more like a choice from two thing either go to university or go to work in Tesco/Asda or something like that. Obviously I chose university even though I suck at it and cant write those stupid essay (like you can see I cant even write a post without spelling mistakes) but somehow I managed on to second year ( yeeey second year where on the end I have to start writing 10 thousand dissertation #totalfail ) Ahhh I’m not even doing anything great well for me it is but other people see it as a hobby. I’m doing PHOTOGRAPHY , yes I’m another human that thinks I can make a living from this well I hope I will. I’m not amazing at it but I think I’m good and its kinda the only thing I’m good at so I chose to study it , its actually harder then I though but hey at lest I’m trying. So I’m sitting here alone and I’m stuck like I don’t know if I’m doing everything right , I don’t know what’s next , I just don’t know. My past isn’t great ( I HATE IT) , I try to forget all of it but sometimes its hits you back just to remind you how much you suck well pretty much everyday. So this fact doesn’t help , I just want to move away from it and just be a completely different person then I was.
So I’m just sitting on a couch watching Friends and thinking is that it so I just go to university maybe finish it (If I somehow pass my 3rd year lols) and then look for a job which probably will have nothing to do with what I’m doing. IS THAT IT ? …..Like it cant be I had so many plans I wanted to do. I wanted to travel the world see places that people don’t visit where there’s no humans just nature , show how beautiful it is and that we need to stop destroying it …show how animals and humans are suffering because of how selfish we are … SEE the world before its gone before it disappears , because us humans we don’t have time to acknowledge beauty of the world we rather get money get rich and destroy it for or own comfort!
What happen to that ? What happen to me ? Why is all this gone ? Why did I stop and gave up here ? Why did I stop fighting for what I want ? Why did I gave up on my dreams?